I Got a Feeling....

It's like the feeling when you are about to sail down a roller coaster's monstrous hill...you wonder if it will be more fun or more fear...

It's like the feeling when you are waiting to see your grades for the semester...you cannot even contain the anticipation...

It's like the feeling when you roll out of bed and decide it's a good idea to leave the house with bright green sweat pants, a mismatched shirt, and bed head...you wonder if you are totally out of your mind...

It's like the feeling when you are holding a raffle ticket and waiting to hear if your ticket is the winner...you contemplate if this could be it...

The feelings are endless, agonizing, exhilarating, and somewhat addicting.  These feelings that I refer to are the feelings that I have experienced as a young woman who has tried my hand at "Dating in the City."

Let me back up just a little bit...

I grew up and always had imagined myself living a fairytale story.  But what little girl does not?!  As a little girl I longed for the days when I would abandon the dress up wedding gowns and I could step foot into my very own wedding dress.  In fact there were numerous occasions where I would play the infamous game of MASH and fully expect that I would marry a handsome man, go on a honeymoon to Hawaii, live in a house, have 4 children, drive a mini van, and so on and so forth...it would be the perfect dream come true.

From very early on I had planned how it would all go down...I would maybe have 1 or 2 boyfriends in High School (just for kicks....because I knew that rarely did a HS relationship last a lifetime)....and then I would go to college where I'd encounter heaps and heaps of young men.  I really did convince myself that upon my college arrival, there would be guys everywhere, flocking to meet all the girls, myself included.  In the process of meeting these guys, I would find one that really stood out...I fully expected to meet someone grand, and perfect, and good looking in the first week of getting to college.  The plan continues on with me dating this perfect dude for the next three years of college and sharing all of these wonderful college memories together.  I expected to get engaged in the last year of college...and then as soon as I graduated, I figured I would get married.

It's not that I was trying to be unrealistic and have insane expectations...I just figured that's how it "happened"  Right?  It just makes sense that love would be so easy, and effortless...that it would just play out so neatly in this game called life.

Then reality settled in.

I got through High School and had yet to date anyone seriously.  I had gone on a handful of dates--in fact I think I could count those dates on one hand.  Part of this was because I didn't know of anyone that really met my (or my parents?) standard.  Part of this was because I didn't put myself out there to find out IF anyone met my standard.  Part of this was because I was young and so oblivious.

So, High School came and went, and then I found myself approaching college with high anticipation....if it didn't happen in High School, it was sure to happen in college...no doubt.  I mean, I was going to be attending a nice, small, Christian college where the choice of good, sensible, and respectable guys would be plentiful...this should be easy.  Right?  Wrong!

Year one went by and while I had numerous people catch my eye, and the list of crushes continued to grow by the day, nothing ever seemed to move beyond a friendship.  During my second year I met Charlie and was crazy about him.  Thinking about it now, I'm not totally sure why.  I think it was the fact that he was giving me attention and I was riding on the "high" of the thought that maybe part of my fairytale would finally come true.  We dated for about 9 months but looking back on those months, they were not very memorable.   I went along with the motions of being in a relationship, and really tried hard to imagine this long term because I wanted it so bad, but the truth is that it was not a very deep or fulfilling relationship.  Then the dreaded happened.  We broke up.  I thought life was over.

Year three came and I took back out the book of crushes and continued to add names...just hoping that one would flourish into something great.  It wasn't again until my senior year that I had any prospects....I knew Marv for the entirety of college but had never considered him as more than a friend.  (This is a side note, but I actually went on a "double date" with Marv and my friend was matched up with Charlie because I really wanted to get to know Charlie and knew Marv was just a "friend" and had nothing to worry about...funny how in the end I ended up dating both of them.   Funny or weird?  I digress).   Somehow Marv and I started hanging out and I was blown away with the chemistry we had...it was so effortless, so natural, so easy.  At the time I wasn't really sure what it meant to be in love, but I think I was as close to being "in love" with Marv as I could have been at that point in my life.  I really thought I could marry that dude.  We dated for about 6 months and then broke up.  This time, I really did think my life was over.  I thought I would never, EVER meet someone that "great" again.

This puts me at the end of my college experience and no where near my fairytale dreams coming true.  This left me with a sting...and like the wind had been knocked out of me.  My dreams, my hopes, my expectations...none of them were happening.

So there I was, a young woman, recently graduated, and ready to start this next stage of life....and ready for it...but feeling as though I was missing something huge....someone to share life with.  Being out of the college environment, I had no idea how to go about dating in the real world...Where would I meet people?  Where would we go on dates?  This was a totally foreign concept to me as I never anticipated having this experience...I never dreamed I would have to experience this.

While it has now been almost 4 years since I graduated from college (HOLY COW) I can confidently say that I have had some interesting, funny, exciting, horrible, nauseating, and crazy experiences as I a young woman "Dating in the City."

This blog will house all of the memories and stories of my dating life.  It makes me slightly nervous to put all of this down in writing...to relive some of these stories will be quite an adventure....but more than anything else, it will give me a reason to sit back, smile, and reflect on how I got to where I am today:  Totally in love!